Beautiful Simplicity

A few quotes I've made up for my book:

"Animals fight out of fear, while humans almost always fight out of anger."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/8/10


"Want and need are different, a want you'll do anything for at any given moment, a need you'll do anything for only when your going to die."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/2/10


"Feeling guilty is your bodys natural way of telling you your not ready to make changes or rather your not ready to end your fun."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/3/10


"Personally I like endorphins better then serotonin, you can't live with being unhappy without them.... otherwise your screwed."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/3/10


"Your like my favorite band, even if the song sucks I force myself to like it because of how much I love the band."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/4/10


"The simplest thoughts can so easily be turned into the brutalist actions."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/5/10


"Maybe we can't truly understand love or why we feel it and strive for it because we don't truly understand god, don't always identify his touch, and we seldom search for him wholeheartedly."
-Francine Jaramillo 1/5/10






I'll add more once I write them.

Maybe You Should Watch Me Burn

god im struggling, god im suffocating
god im shattering, god im unraveling
god don't let it stop......god, its better this way.

My chest is heavy
but its not from the oxygen.
How can my lungs inflate
when I can barely breathe?
Im gasping and yet my lungs don't feel the burn.
How can they when my heart is the one inflamed?
So full of a reserved unrational emotion?
My heart its putting up towers
its making defenses no one can penetrate.
Years will pass and still not even an atomic bomb will make a dent.
I think my heart is hardening.

god im angry, god im unsatisfied
god im putting up a facade,
god please dont let it be.

My head has ample amounts of animosity,
but my heart won't stand for it.
It sends out compassion to flood those volitile cogitations away,
like adrenaline in a altercation.
My head swells with the sudden urge to run amiss
making tours of every memory sufficient enough to spurn that acrimony.

god im overwhelmed, god im so bested
god its for the best, god I understand
god...better me.

To stand above a comrade in a war you've waged against them is not winning
if anything its defeat and betrayal to oneself.
To strike out backwards on our past taking the rough terrain
and easy walking is vigorous but well worth it.
My sanity is forever indebted for had I not seen the alternate
paths and how destructive they'd have been to you,
I would still be standing here in my beligerance.
Whats left of my heart after it was mauled would corode away just like our friendship.
Better me, I don't think I could live with myself lavishly
had the alternative come about.

Better me, I'd rather be the one to burn.

-Francine Jaramillo; September 2009

Life's Labyrinth

....I have this obsession

Its kind of a weird obsession

Im obsessed with labyrinths, mazes.

So it's no wonder why I'd compare my life to a labyrinth.

I mean what better way to compare life to then some long arduous maze.

Lately though the scenery In my labyrinth has changed,

I mean changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time.

It used to be my facade, the large extravagant bushes that enveloped me,

Had a consistency to be pretty flowers, roses, buds, depending on my mood.

But all thats changed,

Because I don't see pretty flowers anymore

Because I am not on the same path I was before,

I've been making unclear decisions

That are causing me to make wrong turns In my labyrinth

And just like in life you can't go back,

There's no turning around.

So I continue on this new path

Away from my original desires

Because I've stopped caring.

And the flowers are no longer just ugly,

They've begun to acquire a fetid, foul odor,

And my senses are telling me they also might be becoming toxic as I continue in this direction.

Im even beginning to see vines,

And the path itself has changed,

Its become rocky and muddy

And there are even little leeches floundering around.

Its also become hard to walk or even move

And not surprisingly its become pretty claustrophobic.

So it's no wonder I fall.

And It's not a regular fall because I don't fall over on something.

I just drop.

And these baneful bushes have some pretty robust vines

With what seems like a surplus of thorns

And somehow they've wrapped themselves around me,

But mainly they're constricting my throat.

And all of a sudden

My ears are ringing,

My vision is blurry,

My body is trembling,

I am breaking out in a cold sweat,

And my breath is coming out in ragged clumps.

And my first thought is I am going to die,

And that right there makes me furious

Because I am the one who fertilized these vines

Those were my cogitations that made them

So plump,

So belligerent,

So venomous.

Now the next thought is am I going to let this kill me?

Or am I going to say eff this,

Eff you Mister teacher who doesn't understand and isn't teaching me what I need to know,

Eff you broken clock because you've wasted so much of my time,

Eff you gravity because you prevent me from flying,

Eff you stupid door because you've locked me out so many times before,

Eff you old friend who ditched me in my darkest hour,

Eff you emotions because your the ones who have me pinned to the ground.

Now I am going to take these emotions

That should be strong enough to rip these vines

Since they are obviously strong enough to hold me down,

And tear them off my throat.

And I am going to get up dust myself off

And make some decisions that are going to put me back on a path

That leads me to my goals and desires.

And I know it's going to take awhile

Because I've gotten so off track,

But it'll all be worth it to get in a place that I like in life.

So Carpe Diem, Carpe Noctum

Because you cannot waste time you can only waste yourself.

January 2010 Francine Jaramillo